So before I start, let me tell you about my husband’s grand appreciation for my hobbylifestyle choice. He thinks what we can do with sticks and string is amazingly cool and very impressive, and he is an enthusiastic admirer of every project that comes off my needles. He’s the reason I learned to knit. He bought me my first fancy yarn (Malabrigo Worsted in Water Green, a sweater’s worth!), which he followed up with a fancy jumbo ballwinder and swift for Christmas that year, and an interchangeable set the next. In short, he is my eternal cheerleader and benefactor, and so it’s no wonder that I would like so very much to gift him some handknits of his very own.

I have heard about this mythical guy who just wants a closet full of handknit sweaters and scarves, but I’ve not met him. He probably also owns more than two pairs of shoes. My guy? Proclaims to hate sweaters. They’re itchy and ugly and his plaid flannel suits him fine, thank you very much. Thinks even scarves are “girly.” Like, any scarf at all. He thinks he might have worn a hat once, back in 1993.

Knits for the men in your life – dads, husbands, uncles, sons, cousins, nephews, BFFs. Whatever the relation, if they are anything at all like the men in mine, as much as you might want to shower them with some handknit love, it is hard to find a pattern they’re going to actually like, and knitting takes way too much time to waste it on something that won’t be appreciated, am I right?

Well, never fear – it’s taken me 11 years, but I have finally nailed down some patterns, even sweaters, that suit his tastes, and I’m passing these ideas along to you for the surly, non-knit-wearing man in your life, whoever he may be.

Socks are kind of obvious, but Dan only wants plain socks. Plain, boring, preferably commercially knit socks, because if there’s no handknit flair then what is the point, he asks? His socks can not have lace, eyelets, or any sort of colorwork or all-over patterning. But he does like these, which all have a little interest for both knitter and giftee!

I’ve lost the battle completely on scarves, but hats can be okay. Stripes are alright but not cables or fair isle, and, according to Dan, there is a sweet spot for hat length where it is long enough but not TOO long for the perfect manly look.

If you’re willing to invest a bit more time in an accessory, you can only convince them that gloves can come in handy. Strictly utilitarian, of course, but I’ve made both of these a ton of times and they get lots of wear and compliments from my favorite guys!

Now, knitting a sweater for a man, especially a large man, is not for the faint of heart. But if the spirit moves you, these four sweaters are all Dan-approved. Potential sweaters, for the man who has never worn a sweater once since you met him, ever, though he maybe remembers owning a sweater in middle school:

Last but not least, I showed these PANZER TANK SLIPPERS to Dan and he burst out with “those are so cool!” I admit I probably won’t make them, but…maybe you will?